Looking after your baby, tiredness and a new routine can lead to having less time for friends and family. Sometimes it can make it harder to connect with your partner in ways that you used to before your little one arrived.
For some people, life with a new baby can make it feel a lot harder to go out together and enjoy the things you used to do. With so much focus on feeding, nappy changes and broken sleep, it’s easy for your relationship to slip down the priority list.
Staying connected doesn’t mean things need to be perfect.
Remember, however close you were before your baby was born, your partner can’t read your mind.
It’s important to use contraception as you can get pregnant from three weeks (21 days) after birth, even if you are breastfeeding.
If you have given birth in hospital, your midwife will usually talk to you about contraception before you go home. Your GP will usually discuss contraception with you during your 6-8 week postnatal check.
Maybe. When you breastfeed, especially exclusively, a hormone called prolactin is produced by your body, which stimulates the production of your milk. Prolactin can suppress the hormones needed for ovulation. This natural process is called Lactational Amenorrhea Method (LAM). It means that you are less likely to become pregnant whilst you are breastfeeding, although you can still become pregnant.
Pregnancy and new parenthood often change the way you connect with the people closest to you. It can also change the way your friends and family connect with you now you’re a parent.
With a new baby in the family, it’s understandable that family members become excited. Both in meeting their new family member, and to see you transition into a parent. You may find some close family members are eager to help, sometimes in ways that can feel overwhelming.
Your relatives are also getting used to a completely new relationship with you. They won’t know what to do to help you unless you tell them openly.
To maintain relationships and boundaries with those closest to you, you could try:
Let friends and family know exactly how they can help, whether that’s watching the baby while you shower, or simply sending a message to check in with you. Clear requests can help them to feel useful and involved
If you’re making plans to meet up, be open about the fact times, days and places may need to change last minute according to your baby’s needs
If advice or visits feel too overwhelming, it’s ok to say ‘I’m not ready for guests right now, but I’ll message you when I am.’ Framing your boundary in a positively can help to keep that relationship open
Keep close ones involved by sending photos, videos and milestone updates. This can help those around you to feel connected and helps keep communication open.
Friends, especially those without children, may not understand your new daily routines, sleepless nights and constant feeds. You may find your old friends stop coming to see you, or they seem to expect you to drop everything and go out for the evening.
This can make keeping up with friends difficult but explain to them how your life has changed. They may not understand the changes you’re going through.
Keep in touch and keep some space for them in your life, as the support of friends can be really valuable.